this is the reason I will never get Lasik surgery
Onion photo from Flickr by Professor Evil.Onions.
No, I'm not kidding.
Onions are the reason. More specifically, chopping up onions. You see, I wear contacts; have since age 12. And whenever I wear my contacts--which is most days--chopping up onions is no sweat. Chop, chop, chop, chop, no problems whatsoever.
But whenever I make the mistake of trying to chop onions on a day when I'm wearing my glasses and my eyes have no protective film of plastic attached to their surface, my eyes just go nuts. Within seconds they're burning and I'm weeping and I have to stagger around the room looking for a towel to bury my face in. I get myself wiped up and turn back to the cutting board for a few more pathetic chop-chops before my eyes go crazy again. It takes me five times as long to chop onions without my contacts, and causes me significantly more discomfort. It's ridiculous, I tell you! Is this how you poor people with 20-2o vision are every single time you try to cook? The horror!
And seriously, you can't hardly make anything without chopping an onion. Soups, stews, sauces, casseroles, tacos...almost any dinner food worth eating has onions in it. I love to cook; I cook almost every night. And I could never give up cooking with onions. My contacts are not just vision enhancement--they're a protective film over my eyes, keeping the nasty burning fumes from reaching them.
Not that anyone is standing around offering me handfuls of extra money with which to get Lasik surgery, but if someone was...I'd have to think twice. I have a couple of friends who have had it done and they say it's great, that not having to worry about glasses and contacts is very nice. And I'm sure that's true. But having to wear contacts really doesn't bother me at all...and what about the onions? Forget about possible side effects, eye problems, the freakishness of having a laser pointed at your eyes...what about the onions?
7 comments:
The onions never seem to get me unless I am trying to talk on the phone at the same time as chopping. I won't ever get lasik either though it would be nice sometimes.
oh man, i NEVER thought of that. I always wonder why DH has such a hard time when I'm fine! I DO SO want lasic though. I've been saying it since I was small "when I grow up I want to fix my eyes". When do you hit that time, 'cause it's 28 and still don't feel like it's in the cards anytime soon :) I think i'll try to convince DH that it's sooo much more cost effective. Maybe a spreadsheet!
I wear glasses because contacts bother me. But I also buy only prechopped or frozed onions. Just an idea!
Hmmm, I don't think I have ever tried to chop onions with my glasses on, but my eyes are so bad I think I would be willing to cry when chopping to have them fixed! So if someone hands you a bunch of money to fix your eyes and you opt out... I'd be happy to take that from you! :)
Of course my eyes are so bad that I can't have lasik I would have to have implants, so maybe I would still have that protective film on my eyes! :)
Yes, us with 20/20 do suffer and thank you for recognizing our plight. The onions get me every time and I just cry and cry and try to tough it out and have to stick my head in the freezer to overcome the pain. And Russ thinks this is so funny he says every time, "Don't cry, it's okay, they don't feel a thing!" Husbands who don't cook can be annoying when they are insensitive to the pain of the onions.
You could always invest in these handy onion goggles!
http://www.amazon.com/RSVP-International-Onion-Goggles-Black/dp/B0014SQU1A/ref=rsl_mainw_dpl?ie=UTF8&m=ATVPDKIKX0DER
L. O. L. Seriously. 'Forget about a laser. What about the onions?' Hehe :)
I made my husband help last time he volunteered us to provide chopped onion for a chili feed at his office. 10 onions later, he finally sympathised with my side of the story. And I laughed maliciously at his manly tears :)
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